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Quiet is the Flow
River De Chute... Easton, ME
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Jesus was in the back of the boat and asleep with his head on a pillow. His students woke him and shouted, "Teacher! don't you care that we are about to die?!" Jesus rose and ordered the wind, "Be quiet!" and the waves, "Be still!" The wind died down, and there was a profound calm.
*Gospel of Mark 4.38ff
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It is unwise when we depict a Christ or a Buddha or a holy man or woman as above the upsetness we suffer, beyond touched by inner pain. This is a projection of an unrealistic ideal. Sometimes, you are a Buddha with upsetness; sometimes, you are a Buddha without upsetness. Sometimes, you are a Christ with sadness; sometimes, you are a Christ without sadness. Sometimes, you are a holy man or woman with anger; sometimes, you are a holy man or woman without anger. Different feelings come and go like inner weather conditions. At the same time, Buddha, Christ, and holy person remain the same. Your True Self is like the tree that sits amid the seasons. The tree witnesses the snow, rain, heat, cold, wind, and other weather phenomena, yet the tree remains the tree. The tree would not say, "I am all these changes," yet, the tree could say, "I can be with all these changes." We grow to be like a tree.
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Follower: Teacher, you say when we sit in the Silence, upset within, peace will arise. Often this is not true of me. I sit and open to Grace, but I leave as upset as before. Sometimes, I go away more upset for still being upset. What am I to do?
The Sage: Peace is always present, for Spirit is present. However, at times, we do not feel this peace. When peace does not arise, be at peace with the unpeace.
Follower: But why does peace not always arise, even when we open our hearts in consent to Spirit.
The Sage: We receive peace to the extent we are prepared to accept it. Keep preparing, and receptivity will increase. The spontaneous welcome of peace grows. Remember, disquiet is the calling to calm, and upsetness continuing is the sign more healing needs to occur to allow calm. So, disquiet can be seen as an invitation to be thankful for.
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Spirit, being peace, never withholds Itself. In fact, that disquiet is present means quiet is. Without knowing unpeace, we could not know peace.
Ideally, we can always live in peace. The reality is we have become wounded internally and cannot always receive that peace. As we draw closer to the Light, Grace works healing within us, and our capacity to undergo the transformation of unpeace into peace grows.
So, do not judge yourself when overtaken with upsetness. See how the inner agitation is like manure - that is insight, for the manure is in the garden in bloom, and the garden in bloom is in the manure. Flowers of peace grow from the conversion of the manure of unpeace into peace. See the flower garden in the manure, then you have hope and faith. This hope and faith help you persevere and not give in to discouragement.
And you are not what you feel. Practice witnessing what you call negative and positive feelings without identifying with either. If you did not learn how to work with the negative feelings in the Silence, you could not do so outside among others. We train with positive and negative in the Silence. The Silence is a training space for us. We sit with pleasure and displeasure rather than escape. We may have times we cannot be still, the unrest is so intense, and that is okay. We can go for a mindful walk.
Feelings come and go, while you do not: you are, always, so you can witness compassionately your own suffering and that of others. Upsettness is suffering. Compassion can arise from this dispassionate witnessing. Hence, you grow to be more gentle with others and yourself in the weaknesses and fallibilities of humanness.
We are not to push to a resolution of our upsetness. We learn to be with it. We honor our inner pain. In being with our suffering, we act in compassion toward ourselves, as when we sit and listen to someone suffering and needs us to be with them. If we push it away, we push away the healing and learning to be with others in lovingkindness.
Everyone has suffering in their life. Everyone needs a gentle presence to offer a nonjudgmental being-with in kindness and grace. So, we need to be quiet and still with our own suffering. Otherwise, how can we offer the gift of compassionate presence to others? And do we not want to be a compassionate presence to others, as we sometimes need someone to be that for us?
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*© Brian K. Wilcox, 2021
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on wisdom traditions, predominantly Christian, Buddhist, and Sufi, with extensive notes on the poetry's teachings and imagery.
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